70+ Hilarious Jokes for Kids

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What kid doesn’t love a good joke? I’ve rounded up over 70 hilarious jokes for kids.

We love telling jokes in my household. They’re a great way to pass the time, have family bonding, and reduce stress. In this post, I’ve also included knock-knock jokes because what kid doesn’t love knock-knock jokes?

These jokes are kid-friendly and kid-approved.

Okay, let’s get to the jokes.

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Hilarious Jokes for Kids 🙂

What kind of ant can you color with?

A crayant!

What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?


What is a butterfly’s favorite subject at school?


What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?


Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?

So he could have sweet dreams!

How do you impress a baker when you’re taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours.

Why did they quit giving tests at the zoo?

Because it was full of cheetahs

Did you hear about the wolves all-night party?

It was a howling success!

How do you make a walnut laugh?

Crack it up!

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

How can you tell the calendar is popular?

It always has a lot of dates!

How many months have 28 days?

All of them!

What did one flag say to the other flag?

Nothing. It just waved!

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?

We have to stick together.

What did the beaver say to the tree?

Been nice gnawing you.

What do you call an animal who tries to be a pop star?

Justin BEAVER!

What flies around the kindergarten room at night?

The alpha-BAT.

How do monsters like their eggs?


What did Frankenstien’s monster say to his bride on Valentine’s Day?

Be my Valenstein

How can you tell if you are in love?

If they stole a pizza your heart.

What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown?

A dino-score

What kind of pet did Aladdin have?

A flying car-pet!

Where do hamsters go on vacation?


You know what the loudest pet you can get is?

A trumpet

Why do mummies like holiday gifts?

Because of all of the wrappings.

What do vampires have at eleven o’clock every day?

A coffin break.

What do you call a dog that can tell time?

A watch dog!

What happens when you wear a watch on a plane?

Time flies!

What did the football coach say to the banker?

I want my quarter back!

Where do snowmen keep their money?

They keep it in snowbanks.

Why did the coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back.

What is a UPS worker’s favorite sport?


What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships!

How did Jack know how many beans his cow was worth?

He used a cowculator!

What did the beanstalk say to Jack?

Stop picking on me!

Which is the scariest fairy-tale?

Ghouldilocks and the Three Brrrrs!

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a boogie in it.

What do you call a banana that likes to dance?

A banana shake!

What is a snake’s favorite dance?

The mamba!

Why did the stadium get hot after the game?

All of the fans left.

What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?

Oh Snap!

Which month do soldiers hate most?

The month of March!

Why did the barber win the race?

Because he took a short cut.

What do you call the security guards who work at the Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy

How do you shoot a killer bee?

With a bee-bee gun

What bow can’t be tied?

A rainbow!

What kind of bug hates Christmas?

A humbug

What makes a glow-worm glow?

It eats light meals.

Why did the fly never land on the computer?

He was afriad of the world wide web.

What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?

Her glass flipper.

What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?

A Minnie van!

What’s a bee’s favorite Disney movie?

Beauty And The Bees.

Did you hear about McDonalds?

They eggspanded the breakfast menu.

How did the egg get up the mountain?

It scrambled up!

How do comedians like their eggs?

Funny side up!

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Ya. Ya who?
I didn’t know you were a cowboy!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Peas who?
Peas open the door and let me in.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Chicken who?
Chicken your pockets. I think your keys are there!

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Harry who?
Harry up and let us in! The Dementors are coming!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Easter Egg
Easter Egg who?
You crack me up!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Jimmy who?
Jimmy a little kiss!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I’ll tell you!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Sherwood who?
Sherwood like to be your valentine!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Abby who?
A bee just stung me!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Abby who?
Abby New Year!

Knock, knock!
Who’s There?
Ash who?
Bless you!

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce Who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda who?
Wanda wish you a happy birthday!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wire who?
Wire you asking me?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Witches who?
Witches the way home?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry who?
Harry up, I’m hungry!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don’t let me inside!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Needle who?
Needle little money for the movies.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Spell who?